So.....yeah. Whoops.
I guess all those big plans and motivation didn't really amount to much (story of my life). As you can see there is approximately 17 months between when I wrote that first post and now. I don't think I even published it. (Or maybe I did, I'm new to this blog stuff). But I wrote the post in January of 2012. Today it is June 14, 2013. I wish I could tell you all that I have made it to One-der Land, made it to my 100 lb goal, had a beautiful wedding as a skinny bride (well I guess one thing is true, the wedding was BEAUTIFUL). But sadly, no. None of those things are true. In fact I am 18 lbs heavier and a full dress size bigger. Ugh. That is so disappointing to write. It's so very frustrating to think that if I would have just stuck with it consistently, I could have had the health and fabulous body I've wanted since I began this struggle over 5 years ago. Instead I sit here today weighing the heaviest I ever have, with the worst self image I have ever had.
But that is enough feeling sorry for myself! I actually stumbled upon this dusty blog of mine by accident. I was leaving a comment on another blog that I love (Runs for Cookies.....check it out!), and had to sign into Blogger to leave the comment. I noticed my name was still showing my maiden name, so I went to update my profile, and wallah! "My Trip to One-der Land" appeared out of nowhere, all lonely and neglected. I read that first post, and the feeling I had that day that I wrote it came flooding back. It was a feeling of a bit of determination and also desperation. I needed to do something, anything to help me finally stick to the journey of successful weight loss. Honestly, I have to say that feeling never really went anywhere. It's exhausting to constantly have these feelings of desperation to lose weight while also having an internal battle with food and laziness. Seriously.....utterly ex-haust-ing.
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