So this is the blog world, huh? I feel like one of the cool kids now!
In all reality I have no idea what I am doing. Besides the stuff I do for work (bank marketing), I in no way consider myself a writer. But I've found myself reading more blogs lately, all about weight loss, and it seems like a very therapeutic way of going through the weight loss journey. So, I figured, what the hell? Why not give it a try?
I'll start by introducing myself: I'm Jess! I am 26 years old, living in Illinois (25 miles outside of Chicago). I live with my fiance, best friend, partner-in-crime, Jake and our awesome kitty Maeby. I recently started a new job, using my degree, at a local bank working in the Marketing department and I love it! I previously was in a job I hated, so with this new change, my life is just about perfect. I have a great a guy, a beautiful house, a wonderful group of supportive friends & family, a job I love and freedom to do whatever my little heart desires. You'd think with all of this, I would want for nothing. That my heart would be filled to the brim with happiness. However, there is a nagging little something that is always with me. Something always keeping me from fully enjoying all of the blessings I have in my life. Something weighing me down, literally.
About 2 weeks ago I weighed in at 240 pounds. Size 20. A weight I never thought I would ever see. Clinically considered morbidly obese (btw, what a HORRIBLE choice of words). I have been struggling with my weight for quite some time now. I was over-weight as a kid. I always knew that I was bigger than my friends, but it never really bothered me too much. It wasn't until I began losing weight, the summer before my freshman year of high school, that I even realized how big I was. I lost 45 pounds by the time I was 15 (with help from puberty, gym class & the diet of my Diabetic step-dad), and really began to feel great about myself. During my time in high school I weighed between 135-145 and felt awesome! I was able to wear cute clothes, 2 piece swim suits, and didn't give my weight a second thought. Life was grand!
And then college happened. I gained the typical Freshman 15. And then about another 15 each year after that. I was on my own. Eating and drinking whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, in any quantity I wanted. And since I have always been a lover of decadent food (anything with butter or sugar) the things I was feeding myself were not the best for me. Plus the fact that I hated to exercise, weight gain was inevitable. And there began my quest to lose weight. At that time I was about 180 pounds. I joined Weight Watchers, joined a gym, and bought the fancy diet pills. I never really got anywhere. I was constantly getting off track and starting over again. Getting off track and starting over again. And so on, and so on, and so on. I wasn't bad looking. I wasn't even the biggest out of my friends. I felt good and enjoyed my life, so weight loss wasn't worth the sacrifice at that time in my life. If only it had stopped there.
I began dating Jake the summer of 2007. It was the summer between my Junior and Senior years of college, and I had come to Chicago for an internship. My Uncle's wife (I don't call her my aunt since she is only 5 years older than me) helped me land an internship at the bank she worked at. Jake also worked for the bank and she and him were friends. She introduced the 2 of us at the beginning of the summer, and we hit it off immediately. We spent every day and night together that summer. It was a true summer romance and he did a great job of wining and dining me! One of the many things we have in common is a love for food. We went out to eat almost every night, and enjoyed appetizers, entrees, and desserts from all over Chicagoland. It was wonderful. Until the summer ended and I had to return to finish my last year of school in Wisconsin. We vowed to tough it out until my graduation the following May. So I left Chicago that September with a heavy heart and 25 extra pounds. (Yep, 25 pounds in 3 months) I was officially in the 200's. I got back on the weight loss wagon. Re-joined Weight Watchers. Went back to the gym. I may have lost 10 or so pounds, but it would always find its way back.
Fast forward 4 1/2 years and 35 pounds later. I really don't know why I have let myself get here. Jake and I have both struggled with our weight during our time together. We both love food, and for some reason cannot seem to overcome it. We have consistently gone from dieting to binging, dieting to binging. Losing 5, gaining 10. We are both so disappointed in our weight, yet we both have refused to stick to a real lifestyle change. Until now.
Jake popped the question about 9 months ago. We knew at that moment that we would have a real motivator to lose the weight once and for all; a wedding. Neither of us want to be fat for our wedding. I wish I could say that we started losing weight right after our engagement, but that is not the case. It wasn't until 2 weeks ago (immediately after Christmas) that we got serious. Jake is watching what he eats and stepping up his time at the gym. I joined a gym by my office and am on the Weight Watchers train again (it's the best things that I've tried, so I keep going back). In the last 13 days I've been to the gym 7 times (pretty sure that's a personal record) and successfully stayed within my WW points allowance. I am happy to say that I am 6 pounds in the right direction. 6 down, 94 to go. My goal is to lose 100 pounds. I may be content with 70 or even 50, but I would love to be back to my happy high-school weight. So I am aiming high!
I feel good this time. I don't know what it is, but usually I would have fallen off the wagon by now. I have had a few slips (including New Years Eve and a couple not-so-point-friendly lunches with co-workers), but I have counted every bite, and adjusted accordingly. I really feel like this is it. This is the year that I will finally be thin. The year that I can reach a goal that will allow me to fully enjoy my wonderful life, without being dragged down by my excess weight.
I plan to write as much as possible along my trip to One-der Land. For those of you who are not Biggest Losers fans and have not heard of One-der Land, it is a magical place where your weight begins with the number ONE! Even though my journey leads far into One-der Land, to see a ONE at the beginning of my weight will be a huge sense of pride in itself.
Please join me on my trip!
